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Wonder how long before he grows it back

Those of you who do not watch the Bravo channel on a regular basis might have missed that this week's Queer Eye for the Straight Guy victim was a member of the Kingdom of Acre. When we finished watching The Five People You Meet In Heaven, which I had gotten from Netflix, we caught it. BTW, museclio the voice was played by Ellen Burstyn who was playing "Ruby" the woman that "Ruby Park" was named after - and the wife of the original owner.


"Luckily" frederich had set the tivo since we missed the first 15 minutes. Which of course meant that after it was over we watched the whole thing from the start again since frederich then missed most of the rest due to a phone call.

It wasn't any better the 2nd time around. First they attacked his apartment - which as frederich observed, looked like any other unmarried stick jock's home. They took out all the dragon, wolf and hobbit artwork and replaced it with a really cool coffee table, a brand new moster flatscreen tv and some very bad armor (trust me - I live with an armorer).

Then they attacked him - took a kinda scruffy guy - the closest comparison I can come off the top of my head is Shaggy from the live action Scooby Doo movie, and turned him into a "frat boy". If you want to see the before and after pictures they are here. They gave him a very hard time about his smoking (no I don't like it either but really). Then they re-did his wardrobe with awful clothing (even some of the Fab 5 were saying he would get beat up if he wore some of those close to work). Finally one of the guys helped him make "Fair Lady Cakes" which were frozen pastry shells with a custard filling then topped with raspberries and blueberries topped with powdered sugar (shudder). Note: when it was time to go to the event he "forgot" to take the Lady Cakes with him. Good move.

Finally they let him free to show off to his girlfriend. Her response was "Oh My!" which very clearly translated into I hate the wardrobe and I hate the new hairdo. I just wish there was a way to find out exactly how long it takes before he starts growing out his hair again. I liked him A LOT better the way he was and I think the girlfriend agrees.

They all got together and went to an event, which was apparently at a castle like structure in New Jersey. frederich said that KOA prides itself on being more historically accurate than the SCA. However it looked like a pretty typical SCA event to me. The fighting was basically the same and the feast wasn't all that different from what I could see. The only exception was that as a whole the costuming is a couple of levels better than SCA Standard. I won't say anything regarding specific costumes but the overall image was slightly better. It was to the point that Mom called me and said "are you SURE they aren't SCA?"

Overall it was just as bad as I pictured it could be. The "Fab 5" got to make all of their very bad puns, and of course used the whole "have fun storming the castle" line. They also spent a lot of time screwing with the English lanugage in VERY bad attempts to speak historically. We saved the episode (I'm sure so LLT could see it) but overall I'm just happy that it WASN'T someone I know from the SCA.

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( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
3fgburner
Jul. 19th, 2006 05:20 pm (UTC)
Did you ever watch the old movie, "Knight Riders"?
It's actually based on some old East Kingdom history. The whole, "I can't be king here so I'll start my own group" thing is kinda-sorta how MSR / Kingdom of Acre" got started.
orlacarey
Jul. 19th, 2006 05:28 pm (UTC)
Re: Did you ever watch the old movie, "Knight Riders"?
I've heard of it, just haven't watched it. I keep forgetting to look for it.
winter_serenity
Jul. 19th, 2006 05:58 pm (UTC)
I laughed out loud when I saw that haircut and my mom, a former SCAer, said, "UGH! *So* white bread!"
orlacarey
Jul. 19th, 2006 06:06 pm (UTC)
I HATE the haircut.
winter_serenity
Jul. 19th, 2006 06:08 pm (UTC)
I love how the "Fab 5" were all so upset that he'd parted it down the middle, like *that* was why the haircut was so bad.
blaecstan
Jul. 19th, 2006 08:52 pm (UTC)
It is actually a house on the North Shore of Long Island called Sands Point Preserve-it's the old Guggenhiem estate. I went to an ECW event there many years ago co-sponsored by the MSR.
orlacarey
Jul. 19th, 2006 08:58 pm (UTC)
Very cool
aeddie
Jul. 19th, 2006 10:26 pm (UTC)
Popping over from the SCA community post about this. Of course the armor in the living room was bad, they ordered it from Better Homes and Gargoyles, err, Design Toscano.

My wife who doesn't like scraggly beards said he looked better pre-shave and haircut.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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